a new year!

sydney fireworks!

A new year. New hopes. New adventures to be had. New challenges to face.

I’m not really a new years resolution kind of girl.

Although in the back of my mind there are thoughts like…this year I’ll… do more exercise, spend more time with my family, read my bible more often, be a better friend… As I reflect on these things I see that while all very good things to aspire to, they are very immeasurable goals. More than what? More than in 2010? Knowing me I’ll probably feel like I’ve failed at these things by next Wednesday because I tend to think alot in terms of “I should…[fill in the blank with some kind of regret].”

This brings me back to something I have written about in a couple of posts about living from the heart and pursuing that which makes you truly come alive. I have realised lately that while I have been seeking to encourage Adam and others in the desires of their heart, I have been ignoring my own.

One thing I have done to help Adam is to schedule in time in our calendar for him to work on his EP and then try to ‘defend’ that time when other also good things come up. It is easy to support Adam in making his EP.  I believe in him and I think he’s capable and that it is a worthwhile pursuit in line with his passion to make music. And besides I love him and want to see him doing that which makes him come alive.

Believing in myself however, is so much harder. I don’t default to belief in my own capability – I default to thinking up a million reasons why I might fail or it might not be the perfect thing to pursue. I forget God’s promise that when I trust Him and not my own understanding, He will give me the desires of my heart (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I also get sucked into believing that dangerous lie that life should be easy and hard work is to be avoided. Believing this lie is poisonous to living from the heart. It leads to a pursuit of comfort, ease and pleasure and constant disappointment – because the truth is, life is hard.

“Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight.”

(Bruce Cockburn, ‘Lovers in a Dangerous Time,’ quoted in Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge).

And so I must, we must, embrace the fight, the battle, the hard work. Annoying but true. Especially if I want to live a better, brighter story with my life.

While I don’t have a huge amount of clarity about the desires on my heart, here are a couple of little things that Adam teased out of me last night which I want to pursue (but to date have found reasons not to do so);

  1. I have been eager to play a role in helping our church do Missions for some time now.
  2. I want to apply to be volunteer at the Immigration Advice and Rights Centre (I filled out the form a month ago and then filed it away in the ‘too hard’ pile, because I wasn’t 100% sure I wanted to do it).

We prayed about them and I have now written them down here, so the plan is that I am going to take the first step towards pursuing them! First step with #1 is to get contact details for our church’s link missionaries & perhaps write down my missions ideas for church. And first step for #2 is to write a covering letter and update my CV, and then submit them with the form.

I don’t expect it will be easy, but just as I am still learning every day, hard work is ok. I’ll update you on my progress soon.

New Year’s PS: We were blessed to celebrate the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 in Bellevue Hill at our friends’ apartment. Here’s a pic of us all down at Redleaf Beach waiting for the fireworks! Amazing!

happy new year - bellevue hill style!

 

Advertisements

a book review of sorts – the alchemist, by paulo coelho

To realise one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation. – The Alchemist

Two months ago while doing some filing I found a post it note I had written some time in the last few years which said…

The Alchemist

Paulo Coelho

I researched the book and ordered it online straightaway…and then waited…

I’ve now finished the story. After every reading I was left with such a “yummy” feeling inside – so much so that I may have ‘drawn out’ the final 20 pages or so cos I just didn’t want it to end. This book is good for the soul.

The story is about a boy who leaves his ordinary life behind, listens to the desires of his heart and sets out on a journey to find the treasure. Along the way he meets some interesting characters, all of whom teach him something vital to the pursuit of his dream. He faces obstacles too. His money is stolen, he is beaten and held hostage in the middle of the desert. He truly has to fight for the desires of his heart.

I was struck by the way Coelho weaves in stories and lessons from the bible about faith and where we place value in our lives – “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

This story challenges both people from western and eastern cultures to be countercultural and live from the heart. It is also a reminder that there is learning to be had in the paths we walk towards the realisation of our dream and in the journeys life takes us on.

“In his pursuit of the dream, he was being constantly subjected to test of his persistence and courage. So he could not be hasty nor impatient . If he pushed forward impulsively he would fail to see the signs left by God along his path.”

So if you do read this book one day, enjoy the journey! Hope its yummy for you too.